I never blog but, I thought I’d give it a shot. I’ve been having some issues going on in my life and maybe this is a way to get them off my chest. We’ll see. Here it goes.
Life is how you display it. I often find myself wrapped up into these binds that I put myself through and often end up crying and stressing out because of it. To be honest, I hate it and sometimes, I love it. I hate that I stress out. It affects the ones I love around me and more often than not, I stress them out. I love it though. I love that I know what I have to do to sacrifie for the things I want. Friends advise me to relax but I just cannot do it. I have so much going on with life right now that I simply cannot put aside an assignment or something to study. Law school doesn’t come without hardwork. I may not even get into law school and if that happens, I know my backup plan to be successful. One of my biggest fears is failing. Funny though, I’ve failed a few times in the past four years (going back to senior year of high school). At the time, I took those failures and made them apart of my everyday life. It ate at my head and neither killed me emotionally but from those failures, I have become a better person in ways that I could not even begin to explain. Every person that has come into my life has dramatically made a difference. I appreciate everything that they have done for me and even as cliche as it sounds, they have shown me a characteristic and trait about them that I strive to be. Of course, that’s unattainable because no one is perfect. I have a perfectionist attitude though. School is something I am good at. Being perfect at school is something I’ve always known so for me to stress out over it is just in its nature.
Back to talking about people who have come into my life. The other day I was listening to a song by the Band Perry. Although the lyrics have a deep meaning about death and how life can vanish in an instant, it made me realize that with every person that walks into my life, that they need to be told how I feel about them; how much I love them, the things that upset me, how much they mean to me, and that I would do anything for them. Words are just words and for those who simply do not put those words into actions are cowards; coward enough to not tell someone how you feel about them whether they are your friend, enemy, or lover. Life can be taken away in the blink of an eye and by not telling them, you are doing yourself an injustice. I have Kendrick to thank for making me realize this. You have certainly inspired me to live life in a different way. Although you are not here on Earth, you are definitely here in spirit and I cannot thank you enough. Over and over again. I’ve come to the realization that an optimist will always beat a realist as well as a pessimist; no matter how many times they [people] put negative ideas into your head. Many put ideas into society’s head that love is overrated. As much as we hurt, as much as we cry, I feel that the day we start viewing love as being overrated is the day that we are wrong. Pain is garbage. Hurt is darkness, but there are no answers in the dark. We have to believe in love. We have to believe in clouds with silver linings and that we can be lifted from all the suffering that has been placed on us. One day everything will be okay; and sometimes I may show I’m weak but I will never be defeated. I will be strong for those who have not been there for me and strong for those who have given up everything to be apart in my life.